I am not strong, but I will be.

This may possibly be my favorite quote, or at least one of them. I overindulge myself with quotes, which includes a section of wall in my room filled with them. It would be a understatement if I said I wasn’t obsessed, and if you say you don’t like quotes, you’re lying, or maybe you just don’t like quotes, but I find that hard to believe. Seriously though, there’s something about a deep thought, from a mind other than your own, that you can personally connect to. Quotes technically come in all different shapes and sizes, meaning that they can be exhilarating, life affirming, simply uplifting, or interpreted in any way that you choose to interpret it in. I think that’s the most beautiful thing about a quote that you can connect with. Each person who reads that quote may be able to categorize the mood behind it, but it’s meaning will most likely differ from one person to another. This same quote will also most likely relate each person’s life differently. No one has 100% the same experiences, and even if you did, there are so many different factors such as emotions, knowledge, wisdom, ability to retain a situation, and interpretations in general that conflict with the idea that we would feel the same about each line of text we read.

Now that I’ve completely sidetracked you from what this post is really supposed to be about (all a part of my master plan, but not really), I guess I’ll return to why I like this particular quote so much. It demonstrates strength, and the control over your own life and destiny. I’ve always been told that you have control over your own life and your own destiny. I believed it each time I was told, and I believe it today, but as we all know “your actions speak louder than words.”

To be completely honest, I haven’t ever been in control of my own life, and to be even more honest, it’s partly my fault. I’ve put my life in the hands of people I trust, because to be “frank,” life is utterly terrifying, and if you don’t think so or haven’t thought so at least for one moment of your life you’re mistaken. Here lately, I have gone through one of the hardest and most stressful times of my life up to this point. For starters, I just entered my senior year of high school, and if the end of the beginning of my life isn’t scary, I don’t know what is, but I have a somewhat organized plan and I know what I want to do after high school. When you leave high school, I understand that you gain a chunk of freedom that you didn’t have before.  Recently, I’ve gained a slice of freedom due to the personal issues in my life. It’s bittersweet for me, because I’m experiencing something new and I enjoy it, but at the same time I’m scared of what could happen if I took it too far. I’m embracing it though, and I have faith that I can get through it, which makes everything easier to accept and take in.

As far as strength goes, I’ve never had it. The cruel truth is I am an emotional teenage girl, and one of my personality traits include wearing my heart on my sleeves. I don’t get angry often, but I get my feelings hurt on pretty much an every other day basis. Though you would never know it, because everything rolls off my shoulders. I cry A LOT, and most of the time for reasons unbenounced to me.  Partly due to the teenage girl part of me, and partly due to my personality. I’ve always admired people with a lot of strength. Up until here lately, my mother was the strongest person I knew. Now, it’s been a lot more difficult to admire her as a person, because of the questionable things I’ve witnessed and overheard her doing. This means that I’ve had to be my own strength, and admire what strength I did have inside me. It’s been a difficult road, but I’m proud to say I can’t remember the last time I cried, because of emotions anyway (those chick flicks tug my heart strings, what can I say?).

I will be your strength, your rock, the shoulder you can cry on, so take advantage of that, and feel free to contact me on my blog email at hopeisawakingdream1@gmail.com

I just created this email for this blog specifically, because wordpress doesn’t have a direct messaging program in place. Please be courteous and use it for good, not evil 🙂

Healing from a storm and growing with the colors of the sunset.

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I once read a quote that read “Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.”

Not too long ago, I decided to take a different view on life. I didn’t make this decision in a time where I knew I was struggling, in fact, I was completely unaware of the life I had been living. My life at the time was mediocre. I was going through the motions, and I had been living this way for years, maybe a majority of my life. It seems like it would be easy to know if you weren’t living your life to the fullest, or if you weren’t happy, but for me it wasn’t. I wasn’t living life unhappily to my conscious knowledge. I enjoyed life, laughed, worked hard, and loved. I had a great group of friends, a supportive and loving family, and I lived a more than comfortable lifestyle. I thought there was no way that I could ask for or need more.

The moments in which I realized I was unhappy with my lifestyle were unspecific, minute moments of my life. I remember the days when dropping a piece of cheese on the floor ruined my mood, and I turned into this hostile and aggressive person I wouldn’t recognize today. I began to realize something was wrong. Towards the end, I seriously considered that fact that I may be depressed, and needed to see a doctor. I’m not a huge fan of the doctor, so of course, I attempted to look for alternatives. I couldn’t of even imagined that it was me, and the way I decided to live my life.

I started to read up on perspective, look at blogs, and really take a look at my life. I wouldn’t be able to tell you what sparked the realization that occurred, but I can tell you that whatever it was, changed my life for the better and saved me from continuing with a life I wasn’t proud of. In the beginning, I didn’t even know what changed. I was happier, I just knew I felt more alive. I started to get upset less, and I began to look at people differently, look at myself differently. The situations I got put in, I viewed more positively.

Positive, the word that describes what I then had suddenly realized changed. Now, if I dropped a piece of cheese on the floor, I would assume there was a reason I wasn’t supposed to eat that specific piece of cheese. I’m not trying to say that the reason that I came up with is true, but it made me feel better, and ultimately, isn’t that what life is about? I sat down, and spent some time thinking about how difficult it was to live life when everything I thought about was negative. Even worse, that I thought life at that time was great. I was so grateful for what I had been given in life, that I wasn’t being grateful for life itself. I was living in such a way, that I know now, later down the road, I would not have been proud of.

Today, I try to spread optimism. When a bad situation occurs, I try to lighten it by suggesting why it may have happened, or remembering how lucky the situation is compared to how it could have been. The hostility is completely gone, and now I rarely feel the need to sit down and cry or be angry with someone. The clouds in my life have a different meaning now. The storm is over, and I’m beginning to heal and grow as a person. I’m not done changing, and I don’t think I ever will be. I’m really glad though, that I’ll keep changing and growing. If you’re lucky enough to realize that it’s happening, it’s one of the best experiences that you can have happen to you.

There’s something about this little old cafe….

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“Strangely enough, the first character in Fried Green Tomatoes was the cafe, and the town. I think a place can be as much a character in a novel as the people.”   -Fannie Flagg

Imagine a place that feels like a home away from home. A place where you recognize and appreciate the familiar faces, but see some new faces with amazing personalities you have yet to associate with. An alternative/romantic music enthusiast’s dream hangout, with touches like books, fireplaces, comfy chairs, and WiFi to write that new blog post you just can’t seem to find the peace and quiet to write with. To top your new home off, a cup of piping hot coffee (or hot chocolate if that’s more your style) 🙂 on a chilly winter day, when you just wandered in to get away from that cold, wet snow. Now, of course this doesn’t describe every coffee shop, but c’mon, does an open cafe with sounds of crashing waves and hula music not sound just as amazing?!

More often than not, when the word “cafe” or “coffee shop” comes up in a conversation, you can only imagine what people think of. “Starbucks!” -_- This aggravates me slightly, because I consider Starbucks nothing short of the opposite of a cafe. Now, don’t get it twisted, I can go for a cup of Starbucks anything any day, despite their prices and sugar content. I think most everything there tastes amazing, they just aren’t offering the experience of a cafe that I’ve dreamed of. I think there is not only a different atmosphere, but a different group of people associated with Starbucks and other coffee shops.

With all the different personalities that run cafes around the world, you’re bound to find one you can fall in love with over and over again paired with a few sips, or a few cups, lets be real, of that specialty drink that you just can’t understand how they make taste so good, even at $3.50 a cup, you convince yourself it’s worth it every time, because that last sip just doesn’t seem like enough.

The key to being happy: be grateful

“But I have found that with the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive impact in the world, the days I do have are more meaningful and precious. And for that I am grateful.”

-Elizabeth Edwards

Things I am grateful for:

  • Life
  • My memories
  • Experiences
  • People Who:
    • inspire me
    • influence me
    • love me unconditionally
    • think about me
    • offer me wisdom and knowledge
    • give me self-confidence
    • compliment me
    • give me the truth when need-be
  • Communication
  • Music
  • Art
  • Expression
  • Generosity and Kindness
  • Miracles
  • The belief in something greater
  • My bad days
    • the ability to see the good in my bad days
    • the good days that make the bad days worth it
  • My good days
    • my really good days
  • individuality
  • independence
  • my innate ability to see the good in people
  • wearing my heart on my sleeve
  • Family
    • my mother’s strength
    • my father’s quirkiness
    • my dog’s never-ending love for life and people
  • pushing through hard times
  • Spirits of:
    • strength
    • courage
    • weakness
    • sensitivity
    • power
    • wisdom
    • maturity
    • happiness
    • joy
    • sadness
    • pain
    • innocence
    • purity
    • madness
    • sanity
    • insanity
    • patience
  • cherishing the good
  • reminiscing
  • past, current, and future close friends and acquaintances
  • appreciated effort
  • growing older
  • watching others grow older
  • all the things that could have gone wrong today, but didn’t

I once read, it is not the happy people who are grateful, but the grateful people who are happy. After reading it more than a dozen times, and mulling over what it meant to me, it finally hit me. I started to practice being happier, and really enjoying what I have been given. Now, forgetting the immense amount of blessings a person has in their life describes an unbearable situation for me. I can’t help but be reminded of the blessings I have in my life beginning the moment I wake up, a blessing in itself. I feel so grateful for the life I have been given, as well as the people in it. I hope someday to share my blessings with someone truly in need of them. So, to end with some words of motivation…you deserve to live a life worth living for. “Try to be alive, you will be dead soon enough (credits to Ernest Hemingway).” Maybe 99% of you reading this didn’t need to hear those words, but that 1% did, and that’s all that matters. Have a great rest of the day.

Take care,

Sierra

 

 

Be amazing!

Amazing –

1.) Causing Great Surprise or Wonder; astonishing.

2.) Startlingly impressive.

I would describe many of the people in my life with the word “amazing.” I don’t use the word amazing to describe people because they have inquired a sense of wonder in me or impressed me in some magnificent way. Although this might have also occurred, the real reason I like to use the word amazing to describe a variety of people is because it not only provides positive reinforcement, but also because it sounds imaginative…at least in my opinion. 

When I think of a land like Neverland or Wonderland, where the magical possibilities are endless and the happy endings are the only endings, I think….”amazing.” Amazing that someone could have dreamed up a world so beautiful, amazing that someone had the dedication to make that dream come true, and truly amazing that that dedication is now recognized worldwide in different countries who’s people speak many different languages.

Through personal experience, I have only been referred to as “amazing” a maximum of five times in my life span. These times exclude my beautiful mother and father, who have provided me with truly “amazing” positive support and referred to me as “amazing” more times than I can count.

However, these lonely other five times that I have been called amazing were AMAZING! The rush of hope and love I felt from the world was indescribable, not to mention the amount of self-confidence I gained. I was these people’s definition of “amazing,” and although I didn’t know exactly what that meant, I did know that it meant I had something to offer to the world. I could be one of those people who dreamed up Neverland or Wonderland, and I could make that dream come true. “Amazing.”

To all of you out there who need this….YOU ARE AMAZING. However, that means nothing if my amazing and your amazing are different. No matter the case, define your amazing, and BE IT.

With care,

Sierra

Man’s Best Friend

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
-Josh Billings

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These two pups are what keep me going on days I feel like I can’t. No matter the circumstances, they are always in a good mood. They love me more than I could even compensate with. It’s hard where I live, because several people around here don’t believe in keeping animals for pets. However I do, and I find it sickening the extent some people will go to for the purpose of using a dog as a machine. My dogs are a part of my family, and I long for the day when everyone else feels the same about their pets. Cherish your pets today, because their love is unconditional. Is yours?

In this moment…

Years I have waited,

For the moment you would arrive,

Never could I have imagined,

What it would be like.

You walked in solemnly,

Eyes filled with tears,

We have dreamt of this moment,

And how it we have feared.

After only minutes with you,

Understanding of your love,

I was pleased to give a gift,

To the heavenly skies above.

Forever I will pray,

For the you in the sky,

In my arms, you have lain,

In my soul, you will lie.

Hope this poem leaves you wondering. I wrote this on the spot, and this is actually the first poem I’ve finished, as well as posted, so try not to judge, although I would love constructive criticism!